Thats The News?

Another installment of the series whose name changes slightly each time...mostly because I don't have the tenaciousness to go look at the last installment to see the official name. But basically I try to make funny with the news headlines on CNN. mostly I fail....but sometimes I hit it, and thats what we in the business live for....we call em slammies and boy do they ever hitcha on the funny bone....SLAMMIES!

1. Turkey Fight In The Road Filmed By State Trooper
Turkey fight...and we ain't talkin about an argument over whose picking up the booze tab between Jack Nicholson and Robert De Niro at the AARP Hollywood Bingo night. Am I Right? Anyone?



2. Racy Sex Scene Awkward With Good Friend
Rosie Perez said it was awkward to film a steamy sex scene with John Leguizamo....her good friend. At this point it's probably awkward to film any movie scenes...the last time i saw her in a film she was telling Woody Harrelson to stop street balling with Wesley Snipes...and I was like 5 when that came out, and they had a steamy sex scene...also before I was born I remember when she had a steamy sex scene in that Spike Lee film. She should make a movie called Steamy Sex Scene. Well, If "The Take" doesn't do so well, look for "Steamy Sex Scene" straight to Blu-Ray.

3. Moby Wants You On The Dance Floor!
Moby is apparently very demanding....the first line of the article goes like this:
"Moby just wants you to dance. Shake your booty. Get jiggy with it. Throw your hands in the air like you just....well, you get the idea."

I don't have much to say about Moby, save that he is amusing looking to me.

But i do have this to say, CNN; when you are done spending your time with these type of introductions...there is a man out there blogging online that you could nearly as good as that. Here's what I would have said, for example:
"Moby might be more than a man, he might be a machine....a dance machine..from the future...and he may have just reprogrammed your brain...to get on the damn floor. Well, shithead, who are you to disobey the MobyBot, huh?"

CNN...you can contact me at 407.555.1234, just kidding, thats a movie phone number...but don't let that stop you, I am available...starting now.

until next time...