Two movies I saw recently:
Made of Honor was pretty bad. Charming main characters, but I couldn't help wondering why I had to watch them go through everything in the movie when they could have, and should have, been together three minutes after the opening credits. Some decent moments, but overall nothing special. Rating: 3/7
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, on the other hand, was very enjoyable. A great sequel to the original film, Prince Caspian brings the series toward some darker themes. But there are still the standard deus ex machinas and characters that exist simply to help further plot and nothing else, so the movie is not flawless. But for what it is and how it brings the source material to the screen, I give it a rating of: 6/7
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Two Quick Reviews
Thursday, May 15, 2008
In Theaters May 16
A quick week here, yet again. It seems we're down to only a single wide release in theaters May 16th.
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian || IMDb
It seems the general consensus here is either love or hatred. Same as with the Lord of the Rings trilogy. But I enjoy movies in all genres, and the first Narnia movie was a good adaptation of the beloved series. We have the same director and writer as before, so I think this will be another good movie. Who am I kidding, though. You are already set on if you want to see this movie and nothing I say will sway your opinion.
Jon's Pick of the Week: Narnia
DVD Release of the Week: Oh God, do I really have to pick one? The Great Debaters, I guess.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Box Office Trends -- No Love for Original Dramas
Lately I've been wondering: When was the last time an original drama movie had huge box office success? It seems like everything these days are adaptations, remakes, sequels, or based on true events. When it's not those, it's often a comedy with big name stars. I think it's interesting how the stats pan out since the year 2000. Note: All numbers taken from Box Office Mojo.
Movies not counted will include: Remakes, sequels, adaptations, and biopics. I'm not going to count Pixar movies either. Pixar makes exceptional movies, and I think they are in a league of their own. Let's just not count animated movies, either.
We'll start with 2007 because 2008 is young.
-Highest Grossing Movie: Spider-man 3. Then we have the Shrek sequel, Transformers, some Pirates of the Caribbean, Harry Potter, etc etc. The highest original movie is Ratatouille, which placed 11th. 13-15 are Wild Hogs, Knocked Up, and Juno. Three comedies. It's not until we get to 31, The Bucket List (which some may still consider comedy), which grossed a mere $93 million. Not until rank 55 do we see Michael Clayton, which is the first movie on the list to be original, critically acclaimed, and not a comedy.
2006
-The top movie here is Pirates of the Caribbean 2, which is no surprise. Though next we have Night at the Museum, which had the second highest gross. Yay for original content, but this is a comedy with big stars. If we consider Click a drama, that takes the prize at number 13. Inside Man wins for the original, critically acclaimed drama award, at number 22 with $83 million.
2005
-Star Wars Episode III, Narnia, and Harry Potter take the top three spots. Wedding Crashers comes in at number 6. Again, a comedy with Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn. Mr. and Mrs. Smith broke into the top 10, but we all know why. I thought the flick was awful, but America apparently didn't. Other notables is Hitch at 11.
2004
-Shrek (2), Spider-man (2), and Jesus (The Passion) are the top three. The Incredibles has a high ranking, but also we see The Day After Tomorrow at number 7, which as far as I can tell is an original screenplay. Potentially our best year yet.
2003
-Lord of the Rings, Finding Nemo (which I love), and Pirates of the Caribbean. Bruce Almighty and Elf rank highly, but it's not until The Last Samurai at number 20 where a drama comes into play. But then again, I'm not sure how original that story is. We'd have to go a long way down the list though to find anything else, so we'll stick with that.
2002
-Spider-man, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Harry Potter... do we see a trend here? My Big Fat Greek Wedding hits number five--a comedy I did not much appreciate. Signs comes in at number 6 though, which is a high score so far. I'm not too big into Shyamalan, but I still give him props for being sort of an auteur.
2001
-Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Shrek, Pixar. Our highest original is Spy Kids, which I'm not enthusiastic about counting. But alas, it's number 17. The Others comes in at 21.
2000
-How refreshing! This seems to be the year before some trends came around. Number one is The Grinch, but number two is Cast Away. Sure it had Tom Hanks in it, but we have an original, dramatic film at the number two spot. Also, Gladiator at number 4. This will be a good stopping point.
The top grossing movies of '97 and '98 were Titanic and Saving Private Ryan--both original screenplays, though Titanic was based on actual events.
So what have we learned? It seems we're in a new age for the money-making movies. Adaptation has always been around the movie, but recently it's a large trend of remakes and sequels. They're safe bets and will always bring home the cash. But I'll tell you what. Spare The Bourne Ultimatum, I would take Before the Devil Knows You're Dead over any of the top 10 grossing movies of 2007.
I guess original dramatic stories, at this moment, are plagued with a home in the independent film circle. Unless they luck out, but we all know how that always ends up. Or doesn't.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
In Theaters May 9
Again, there's only two major movies opening May 9th. One looks to be super entertaining, yet potentially very awful. The other looks boring and certainly awful. Oh, where to start?
Speed Racer || IMDb
When I was a kid I loved me some Speed Racer. The cardinal problem is: Can the Wachowski brothers conjure up enough material to fill a big screen time slot? They did give us 'The Matrix,' but also forced us to sit through two crappy sequels. The Coen brothers, they are not. Yet I'm sure this will be a joy to watch, regardless of the inevitably bland plot. Plus I like Emile Hirsch a lot more since Into the Wild, and I've had a thing for Christina Ricci since she was in Casper (and I was 10 so that's not as creepy as it sounds). What is it with this movie bringing back childhood memories? Nostalgia, here I come.
Rating: Opening Weekend
What Happens in Vegas || IMDb
I like Ashton Kutcher a lot. To be honest he's never done any good movies, but I can't help liking the guy. Unfortunately my man-crush is canceled out by Cameron Diaz, who I think is quite possible the least attractive star on the Hollywood A-List. But besides that, I'm also spiteful against the movie for its excessive advertising well before it came out. I don't mind seeing trailers for The Dark Knight or WALL-E dozens of times, but I think trailers should be more to promote awareness than brainwash viewers with thousands of repetitive showings. I shall coin this term Movie Trailer Tact. Over-promoting a movie makes people sick of it, and this is just one example.
But honestly, like every other movie of this nature, we can all safely assume a pile of unfunny material peppered with occasional joke that is genuinely funny.
Rating: Download
Jon's Pick of the Week: Speed Racer
DVD Release of the Week: I'm Not There (haven't seen it, but it's a lesser evil)
Thursday, May 1, 2008
In Theaters May 2
Not much comes out this week. So little, in fact, I probably won't need to use the expandable post feature. Anyway, here are some movies in theaters May 2.
Iron Man || IMDb
When I saw the first trailer I was left with a good impression. I like Robert Downey Jr. a lot: He has this strange charisma, in a likable prick kinda way. But what's surprising is on Rottentomatoes, the movie has a 94% regular critics, and 88% top critics. Needless to say, that bumps the movie from 'should be entertaining' status to 'first good blockbuster of the summer' status.
Rating: Opening Weekend
Made of Honor || IMDb
It's tempting to rant about Grey's Anatomy here, but I shall not. Instead, I think we'll just all be safe in the assumption that there will be plenty of cliches and predictable plot points in this movie. At 101 minutes, I'm positive that is about 94 minutes longer than the movie should be.
Rating: Download
And that's it for wide releases this week. At least we have one winner.
Jon's Pick of the Week: Iron Man
DVD Release of the Week: The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (DVD Release of the Year so far)
Saturday, April 26, 2008
An Old Dog with Older Tricks
Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay || IMDb
This Friday, Harold and Kumar have returned to the big screen. Unfortunately, where the first movie gave us original, comedic characters with an obsession with White Castle, this movie falls short. Instead of the characters being driven by themselves, by the craving, they are forced to be on the move. Plot controlling characters is always less interesting than the characters controlling themselves.
This time around our heroes get thrown into the Cuban prison Guantanamo Bay after Kumar can't resist smoking on an airplane and his bong is confused for a bomb. After some minor plot (can it even be called that?) developments, they escape and are on the run to Texas, where a dude marrying Kumar's ex-girlfriend can get their records cleared. The movie falls short because all this setup is is an excuse to put the protagonists in a series of uncomfortable instances that were almost all done better in the first movie.
The movie has two jokes. The first is the racism joke. This time we're not limited to a few lines against our Korean and Indian characters, but a majority of the scenes have stereotypes being exploited, and not in a humorous way. For example, a racist investigator (or, whatever he is, played awfully by Rob Corddry) attempts to torture a black witness by pouring a can of grape pop on the ground. But this isn't failure enough -- we see the joke of the black neighborhood being intelligent people (an orthodontist, for example) before the movie even hints at it. Why? Because those jokes have been done long before. And to count these scenes would be futile as they take up a majority of the film.
There are a few laughs, almost all of them coming from Neil Patrick Harris playing Neil Patrick Harris (NPH). He single-handedly steals the movie from Harold and Kumar. He's got more screen time than in the first movie, and it's all put to good use. So much that we are left thinking, I wish we followed NPH for the 102 minutes, instead.
If you've seen the original, there will be no curve balls this time around. If you haven't, watch the original instead and don't bother with this miserable sequel.
Rating: 3/7
Thursday, April 24, 2008
In Theaters April 25
Is it summer yet? It sure feels like it -- though in Florida it starts to feel like summer mid-February. At least we're getting some big name movies in theaters April 25th.
Baby Mama || IMDb
I wanted to see this until I realized it wasn't written by Tina Fey, it just stars her. Mean Girls and 30 Rock, great. SNL, not too bad these days. Baby Mama... pass.
Rating: Rental
Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay || IMDb
The first time I watched the original, I didn't like it. A month ago I bought the DVD. It grew on me (though some scenes still just make me cringe). Though this sequel is bound to be a bit inferior, same writers translates to a solid experience. That is, if you enjoyed the original.
Rating: Opening Weekend
Deception || IMDb
Interesting trailer, but bound to flop. Just take my word for it. Sometimes you just know.
Rating: Download
Jon's Pick of the Week: Harold and Kumar
DVD Release of the Week: The Savages
Side note: One Missed Call has a 0% on Rottentomatoes after 65 reviews. Hilarious.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
In Theaters April 18
We are in for a slightly better week at the movies this time around. There can only be so many bad movies made per year, right? One could only hope, but I don't think that's ever been proven true. Nonetheless, here is what is in theaters for April 18th.
The Forbidden Kingdom || IMDb
I can't tell whether this is supposed to be a parody or the real thing. I'm guessing the latter. Not really too much to say here -- if you like martial arts movies you will enjoy this, if not, then you will not.
Rating: Dollar Theater
88 Minutes || IMDb
Early reviews on Rottentomatoes show this one to be very bad, which confirms my assessment from the trailer that it will be very bad. Unfortunately not even Al Pacino can stop this train wreck. I think we need Keanu Reeves. See what I did there? I made a 'Speed' joke. Because Keanu was in 'Speed' and it was about stopping a vehicle. And that goes with my train wreck analogy.
Rating: Download
Forgetting Sarah Marshall || IMDb
I am really, really over the '40 Year-Old Virgin' and 'Knocked Up' hype. Any time I see those mentioned as a selling point in a preview I immediately go flaccid, which is saying a lot since this movie stars Kristen Bell and Mila Kunis. Let's be real -- it will be amusing, have some eye candy, but ultimately fall short of memorable. I think I'll just watch 'Knocked Up' again.
Rating: Dollar Theater
Jon's Pick of the Week: Forgetting Sarah Marshall (sadly)
DVD Release of the Week: Juno!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
In Theaters April 11
It looks to be another deadpan week for the movies. When will it technically be 'summer' so we can get those huge blockbusters? Give me the next Batman already! Nonetheless, here is what is in theaters April 11.
Prom Night || IMDb
Even the worst, worst horror movies, in the trailer, manage to have some jump-out-scary moments that catch the viewer off guard. Prom Night fails to do even that. At least give me some trick camera angles. Or zombies. I like zombies. The only reason I can understand seeing this is for Brittany Snow, who was hot when she guest starred in Nip/Tuck, and also in Hairspray. Plus, she was born in Tampa, Florida, so that's always a plus. But if you use that logic, I guess you could, you know, watch Nip/Tuck or Hairspray....
Rating: Not If They Paid You
Street Kings || IMDb
I'm glad to see a movie with a fresh plot that has not been done a million times before. Oh, wait.... Novelist James Ellroy takes to doing screenplays. He wrote the novel 'L.A. Confidential,' which was turned into a great movie. But not by him. He should stay away from Hollywood. Instead, director David Ayer should stick to writing, where he at least has some notoriety (Harsh Times, Training Day). And Keanu Reeves should stick to Bill & Ted, obviously.
Rating: Download
Smart People || IMDb
Ellen Page will draw many viewers to this new movie because of her success in Juno. Sadly, people will see this movie for the wrong reason. Granted, there looks to be plenty of cliches and a happy ending, but I'm sure there will be witty moments. Thomas Haden Church is always memorable (his role in Sideways is one of my favorites in recent years), and Dennis Quaid is charming in most roles. Except Vantage Point. Did anyone even see that movie?
Rating: Dollar Theater
Jon's Pick: Smart People (it's in limited release, though)
DVD Release of the Week: There Will Be Blood (rent, don't buy -- the special edition has shit features and the regular one doesn't even have a real case)
Sunday, April 6, 2008
R.I.P. Charlton Heston
Tonight I spent the evening watching 'Blood Diamond.' Sadly, when I returned online, Yahoo!'s main story was that Charlton Heston has died. He was 84.
It's always sad when a legendary screen actor dies, even if one isn't too familiar with their work. For me when I hear 'Charlton Heston' I immediately think of 'Planet of the Apes' and 'Ben-Hur,' two great movies. Of course, he's been in many, many other movies (numerous sites mention 'The Ten Commandments,' which I have not seen). I'm a bit too young, but I'm sure my parents are taking this hard. Either way, R.I.P. one more legend from the golden age of Hollywood. Yippee for morbid news.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
In Theaters April 4
It's that time of the month again. No, wait. Week. That time of the week again. Yes, that is what I was aiming for. It looks like this week may be a gamble. Last week I gambled on '21' and lost miserably. Let's see if we can do better this week.
Leatherheads || IMDb
I like George Clooney. Who doesn't, right? Plus I have a small man-crush on John Krasinski, and seeing him on Leno a few days ago solidified that, while this movie has some things going for it, we're looking at a bench warmer movie at best. Though it's only a few reviews, the movie has scored low on both Rottentomatoes and IMDb. 'Good Night and Good Luck.' was a great film, but here, well, let's wait for George's next round at directing.
Rating: Download
Nim's Island || IMDb
A little better, though I think children's movies have a bit of an advantage. It seems like they get more leeway from critics because the subject matter doesn't have to be as mature. But then again, a good movie is a good movie. I think this one will safely be 'enjoyable but not memorable.'
Rating: Dollar Theater
The Ruins || IMDb
I'm kind of partial to this one, but only because I've been on a horror movie kick. But, A) the movie is rated R, so that's a start, and B) it looks to branch a bit beyond typical 'dead teenager movies.' Those two criteria put it immediately above most horror movies released recently, so there you go.
Rating: Theater
Shine a Light || IMDb
A documentary about the Rolling Stones. Basically, if you like the Rolling Stones, you'll like this. If not, then not.
Rating: Dollar Theater
Jon's Pick of the Week: The Ruins
DVD Release of the Week: Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Top Chef -- Film Food
Honestly, what better theme could there be, for me, than film food? Picking a movie and using it to inspire a dish? Pretty smooth. Though, granted, it's not as exciting as it sounds.
But I'm jumping ahead. The Quickfire Challenge was entertaining, with the contestants required to make a dish of vegetables to show off skill sets. Yay for Top Chef sticking to challenges that actually measure skill!
Dale's was the best and I'm pleased he won. Sure, like ______ said (okay, I can't remember which contestant said it), knife skills aren't everything in cooking. Well, maybe, but they mean a lot.
So the Elimination Challenge was in pairs (Dale got to pick who he went with), and each pair had to pick a movie to use as a dish inspiration. The reason? They were cooking for Richard Roeper (who I seldom agree with, but that's irrelevant).
The best ones were the 'Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory' dish, which won, respectively. It's funny how the judges said that you wouldn't think any of the ingredients would go together, but they worked and tasted great. But then, the other contestants were talking shit, saying, "There's no way that tasted good." Well, this proves you can't judge a dish by its plating. And also why watching a cooking show on television stinks, but what can ya' do?
The dish for 'Top Secret!' was good, and again, keeps in line with my theory of Stephanie winning the whole thing. I also thought the 'A Christmas Story' dish was inspired, and the judges seemed to like it a lot. I was surprised it had almost no recognition.
Manuel and Spike's 'Good Morning, Vietnam' dish was indeed awful. And yes, they clearly thought of the movie after to fit their dish. Spike's one of my favorites, so I was really worried for about ten minutes. Thankfully the other guy went home.
Overall, not a bad episode. And also, I'm now one week closer to my wedding to Padma. You're all invited. (If I say it enough, will it happen?)
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Yahoo!'s Top 10 Movie Cars
Yahoo!, always on the cutting edge of misinformed news and horrible articles, has recently released a list for a Hollywood Auto Show. Check the article for pictures -- here's the list reproduced for easier viewing.
- DeLorean DMC-12 from 'Back to the Future'
- 1970 Dodge Challenger R/T from 'Grindhouse (Death Proof)' and 'Vanishing Point'
- Wayne Industries Tumbler from 'Batman Begins'
- 1968 390 GT V8 Ford Mustang from 'Bullitt'
- 2009 Chevrolet Camaro from 'Transformers'
- 1963 Aston Martin DB5 from numerous James Bond films
- 2002 MINI Cooper S from 'The Italian Job'
- 1961 Ferrari 250 GT California from 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off'
- 2002 Nissan 350Z Fairlady from 'The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift'
- 1963 Model 117 Volkswagon Type 1 'Beetle' Deluxe from 'Herbie: Fully Loaded'
Transformers? The Italian Job? Fast and the Furious? There's obviously some glaring omissions from Yahoo!'s vulgar list.
How about in Harold and Maude, when Harold turns his Porsche into a hearse? Possibly one of the most creative, and amusing vehicles. Especially since we see it drive off a cliff at the end of the movie.
Also, how could they forget the Ectomobile, the inspired hearse/ambulance from Ghostbusters? Easily one of the best vehicles of our time.
What about the Pussy Wagon from Kill Bill: Volume 1? Definitely one of the most ridiculous cars in movie history. (Sorry, hard to find good pictures of it on the net.)
The final noteworthy void in the 'top movie cars' list is the popular Mystery Machine from the Scooby Doo movies (and TV series, naturally). This is one of my personal favorites...
And that's it for my substitutions to their list. Though I think one thing we can definitely all agree on is the DeLorean is the best -- end of story.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
In Theaters March 28
Finally, it looks like a decent week for some movie action. Recently I went and saw 'Horton Hears a Who.' Decently entertaining, except the whole time I could only think of the Mayor, voiced by Steve Carell, as Michael Scott from the Office. But that made it funnier.
21 || IMDb
Everything about this movie looks good. Capable director, fun plot premise (who doesn't like gambling/casino movies?), Kevin Spacey, and Kate Bosworth back at a healthy weight. The trailer looks good, but for some reason I just feel like it's going to flop. There's just something missing, and I can't place my finger on it. On Rottentomatoes it has a 38% off of 37 reviews, and that's not too hot. Either way, I shall see it and report back.
Rating: Theater
Run, Fat Boy, Run || IMDb
'Hot Fuzz' was one of my favorite movies last year. Unfortunately it looks like Simon Pegg is starting to go downhill. Maybe he just needs a paycheck. I mean, sometimes that's gotta be the case. Seriously though, this movie looks like it may have some moments, but overall, just keep in mind it's directed by Ross from Friends.
Rating: Rental
Stop-Loss || IMDb
Let's do a pro/con list.
Pros: Scott Rudin, producer.
Cons: Woman director (sorry, but the only one to come to mind with more than one movie worth watching is Sofia Coppola*), an MTV production, America is tired of war movies (see: all of last year), Ryan Phillippe is the only noteworthy cast member, and even he isn't that big of a sell.
Some people are enthusiastic and calling it a must-see. I don't see it.
Rating: Download
Superhero Movie || IMDb
If you're really considering this, you need more help than I can provide.
Rating: Not If They Paid You
Jon's Pick of the Week: 21
DVD Release of the Week: Bonnie and Clyde special edition! If you haven't seen this amazing classic, you should get on it. Seriously. One of the best movies ever made.
* Yes, there have been quite a few movies directed by women. Some of my favorites, to be honest. But those that have directed more than one that was received well? That's my point.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Southland Tales -- 'A' for Effort
A new movie has just come to DVD -- one you may or may not have heard of. It's Southland Tales (IMDb link here). It's written and directed by Richard Kelly, better known as the writer/director of Donnie Darko. The movie stars The Rock, Sarah Michele Gellar, Seann William Scott, Justin Timberlake, Mandy Moore, and about 20 other recognizable celebrities.
The movie looks good on paper, doesn't it?
Reception has not been so good. According to IMDb, "Scored the lowest reviews for the 2006 Cannes Film Festival, averaging 1.1 out of 5 in all the dailies." It has only a 34% on Rottentomatoes, and only made about $356,000 worldwide (off of a $17,000,000 budget). You'd have a tough time finding a critic who can argue for the movie's worthiness of its 144 minute runtime.
I'm not going to argue that the movie is by any means great, or that it's even up to par with Donnie Darko. What I'm saying is that the movie is worth watching, regardless of the fact it (probably) doesn't make sense in the end.
I have always been of the philosophy that special effects are no substitute for solid writing and good direction. I still stand by that, but let me just say that Southland Tales is a visual treat, even though some of Kelly's choices for shots leave a bit to be desired. CGI, A+
There are two fundamental problems with Southland Tales, both in the writing department. First, a majority of the characters talk in stock patterns, phrases uttered that no one who has had a real conversation would use. But, the writing is consistent, and perhaps people in this future will speak like this. It didn't bug me much, but a problem, it still is.
The second, and larger of the two problems, is that there are so many subplots that keeping them straight is a webbed nightmare, and even when they all meet at the end, it still doesn't make any damn sense. What we can make sense of still doesn't seem worthwhile. So much build-up and almost no payoff. I cannot imagine a greater flaw in a movie.
We have an actor, married into a senator family, who leads a global monitoring of the internet, as well as endorses a drug that really isn't explained very well, while the actor has amnesia and is living with a porn star who is trying to start her own business, while she and the actor have somehow written a script that predicts the future, and the actor is researching it with a cop, also with amnesia -- who has a twin brother -- and plans to stage a fake murder for an organization that plans to take down the global monitoring corporation, but... are you still reading?
Those are most of the main plot points. There are lots of threads that tie everything together, and a lot of it makes sense, but Richard Kelly tries to do too much in too little time. All of this would take a whole season of a television show to unfold correctly. Instead we get it in one movie sitting. (sidenote: that's why there are graphic novels and whatnot released as well. Go, marketing, but that's not the point.)
I liked the movie, despite its flaws. But in the end, if you're thinking about renting this, do yourself a favor and rent either Mulholland Dr., or Donnie Darko. The former is, well, one of the best movie ever about similar subject matter (again -- kind of), the latter similar in the element of time warps. But, if you've seen both of those movies, go ahead and give Southland Tales a shot. If you regret it, I won't pay for your rental.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
In Theaters March 21
It looks to be another lackluster weekend, with some pretty bad movies opening. Is there anything really worth seeing this weekend? Can new box office lows be set? Will 'Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns' get a single positive review? More fun to follow, for in theaters March 21st.
Drillbit Taylor || IMDb
I'm not going to lie -- I really like Owen Wilson. I may even go so far as to say I'm a 'fan.' Of course, I'm referring to 'Wedding Crashers,' 'Starsky & Hutch,' and 'The Life Aquatic,' among others. This movie surely looks to fit into the category of failures for the talented brother. There's sure to be a few moments of comedy, but not near enough to make me leave home.
Rating: Download
Shutter || IMDb
I like really bad horror movies, but the have to be really, really bad. This movie has 'mediocre' written all over it. The only reason I may see it is because Rachel Taylor is a very gifted actress.... or, because she's hot. Either way, not going to be worth it.
Rating: Download
Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns || IMDb
If you had to bet whether this movie was about Tyler Perry interviewing some of the Cleveland Browns football players, or a movie that exploits stereotypes and piles on the cliches, which would you go with? Yeah, me too. I wish it was the other one.
Rating: Not If They Paid You
The Hammer || IMDb
This probably won't be a lot of places, but I'm reaching for watchable movies in theaters. This comedy looks moderately witty, and if anything, way funnier than the other two movies listed before combined. I'm skeptical about Adam Carolla in a non-Man Show role, but this looks okay. Check out the trailer here.
Rating: Theater
Jon's Pick of the Week: The Hammer
DVD Release of the Week: Atonement, for sure. Highly recommended. Also, Enchanted was really good. So get both.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Integrity vs. Quantity?
Why is Netflix better than Blockbuster?
First, I suggest you read (or, glance over) this article by Jim Emerson, where he explains much more eloquently than I could what Blockbuster does to their DVD releases.
Basically, Blockbuster refuses to rent out DVDs that are NC-17 rated (I know this first-hand because I wanted to rent the 1997 'Crash' a while back). But the worst part is not that, but that they have some films cut and edited down to an R rating, but do not tell their customers they did so -- resulting in sometimes a very different movie. This is for in-store as well as online -- rentals.
Netflix does not do this, never will do this, and honestly has a much, much wider selection anyway. Plus, Netflix gives their viewers a "Watch Now" option (streamed instantly to your computer), which I don't think Blockbuster has (correct me if I'm wrong).
So why is Netflix not the clear winner here?
There is a loop-hole with the Blockbuster system that two of my friends have confirmed works. If I recall correctly, it works something like this:
Say you have a 2-at-a-time unlimited policy with Blockbuster. That means you mail one back, they receive it, and mail you another movie; however, you can also return the movie to a store yourself, physically, and get a new rental for free. The trick is, once you return the movie in person, you get the rental instantly as well as the next movie in your online queue mailed the next day. So if you had two movies, you could watch them both, go to the store, return them and get two new ones, and have two more at your house over one mail day -- the result being four movies at a time (for your 2-at-a-time plan). Pretty sweet, right?
The thing is that this only benefits people like me, who watch at least one movie a day, almost every day -- but even then it's still tough to burn through four movies fast enough to justify this. I had 3-at-a-time Netflix and barely ever had none at home. Now I'm on 2 and it's perfect.
But, what kind of movie kid would I be if I watched edited, cleansed versions of movies? Cuts that aren't a 'Director's Cut,' but a hack 'Blockbuster Cut?' I'm sorry, but no. I value artistic integrity in film, regardless of how good or bad the movie may be.
And just a bit of information: I worked it out last night and I've had Netflix for just under two years. For the price I pay, it's worked out to $2.50 a movie. Not bad at all, especially since I probably couldn't have found half of those in regular video stores (Blockbuster, or otherwise). I think it's $5 to rent a movie in-store at Blockbuster.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
In Theaters March 14
At least there's some promise in the new releases for March 14th. Also, though DVDs are released on Tuesdays, I'm going to include a little bit at the bottom for those, too.
Doomsday || IMDb
Clearly a joke on the American public. I will be surprised if it surpasses 15% on RottenTomatoes. If this is your thing, just go see any of the other thousands of movies with this premise.
Rating: Not If They Paid You
Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who || IMDb
Finally, some promise. Even when a Dr. Seuss adaptation goes bad, it's still usually watchable (Grinch -- the Jim Carrey one). The preview looks promising and there's it's certified 'fresh' on RottenTomatoes, so it's worth checking out.
Rating: Dollar Theater
Never Back Down || IMDb
This movie looks really, really bad. The only thing going for it is Jeff Wadlow also directed 'Cry_Wolf,' and though that movie was pretty bad, it's a guilty pleasure of mine. So yeah, nothing to see here, kids.
Rating: Download
Jon's Pick of the Week: Horton Hears a Who
DVD Release of the Week: --just kidding, nothing good comes out this week. Check out 'No Country for Old Men' if you haven't seen it.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
In Theaters March 7
It's a trend that the movie year goes in a cycle. There's usually a beginning of the year slump, a slew of summer blockbusters, and then 3 months of artsy, awards-bound films. Very rarely do movies win Oscars that came out in the first half of the year. And here we are, the beginning of March.
But that does not mean quality entertainment is impossible -- you'll just have to look a little harder to find it. Each Thursday I'll post a column describing new releases, along with a mostly unbiased description, weighing cast & crew, critical reception, how promising the trailer is, and a bit of personal intuition. It will cover all WIDE releases, and a few LIMITED releases.
The rating system will be: Midnight Showing, Opening Weekend, Dollar Theater, Rental, Download, Not If They Paid You.
Without further ado:
In Theaters March 7, 2008
10,000 B.C. || IMDb
Writer/Director Roland Emmerich seems to be a master of the mediocre disaster. His credits include 'The Day After Tomorrow,' 'The Patriot,' and 'Independence Day.' I doubt it will be much better or worse than any of those movies -- a solid action flick with lots to be desired from a critical standpoint. If you like mindless action, this will be your thing, but for me...
Rating: Download
The Bank Job || IMDb
Jason Statham is close to the top of the one-character-actors list. At least Vin Diesel played a nanny. Despite his lack of range, this could be the right role for him. Bound to be predictable, yet I'm sure it will be entertaining.
Rating: Dollar Theater
College Road Trip || IMDb
Ohhhhhhhhh, man. The only reason I would see this is to count how many stereotypes can be shamelessly thrown around. And that is not enough to get me out of the house. How could the director of 'Just Friends' go wrong, you ask? I just don't know, sometimes you have it and sometimes you don't.
Rating: Not If They Paid You
Jon's Pick of the Week: Rent 'Into the Wild' on DVD. Or, if you must, 'The Bank Job.'
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
The Other Boleyn Girl
Tonight, despite my better judgment, I was at a showing of 'The Other Boleyn Girl.' Writer Peter Morgan had a fantastic year in 2006 ('The Queen' and 'The Last King of Scotland'), so I figured he may be able to overcome the handicap of a lukewarm cast -- including Eric Bana, Natalie Portman, and Scarlett Johansson.
Now, I've taken enough British literature and history classes that I should know the monarchy from top to bottom in my sleep, but alas, it sieves through my memory like the thinest of sand. However, in this case the subject matter is more familiar than most. The story centers around King Henry -- the one who had a reputation for decapitating his wives when they could not give him a male heir. It is no spoiler that in one of the final scenes Anne Boleyn (Natalie Portman) has her head cut off center stage.
This is not a movie review... not completely. What I will say is that the problem with the movie was this: Despite a good cast, as much as I wanted to get into the movie, it constantly felt like a drag through history class instead of a movie experience. It was almost like watching a documentary. And I'm fine with documentaries... when I want to watch a documentary. I understand Peter Morgan's obligation to stick to the ropes of history, but if you're going to change a few details, why not go all-out to make the story better? Go big or go home, I say.
The most interesting part of the movie, by far, was watching Anne Boleyn slither her way into the bed of the king, manipulating everyone around her. Unfortunately that was not enough to carry the movie.
What I really think is interesting... well, here's a quick rundown according to the movie (so don't yell at me if I'm wrong).
Henry was married to his Queen, who could produce no male heir.
He impregnated Mary (Scarlet Johansson) for a male heir, but Anne seduced him and convinced him to make Mary's child a bastard ("Never speak to her again").
Mary denied him and denied him, until Henry went mad -- divorcing his Queen, separating from the Catholic church in Rome, and marrying Anne. He realized his mistake fairly soon, but hoped for a masculine child. Their first child was female (the future Queen Elizabeth, I think).
He gave her a second chance. This time she miscarried. Shortly thereafter he had Anne beheaded.
Here's the twist -- you figure it's a 50/50 chance of a child's gender (right?), so what if Anne's first child had been a boy? Would their marriage have lasted? Would he have dealt with their unhappiness for the sake of the future king? How would he have ruled differently than Elizabeth? Surely it would've been a very different angle. Would they have had more kids (boys, girls, doesn't matter)?
Is it bad that I care more about what could have happened historically if a potential coin toss turned up differently? Maybe, maybe not. But if you're considering seeing this movie, I'd wait for DVD. Watch a much better movie about the monarchy, like, I don't know, 'The Queen.'