At least there's some promise in the new releases for March 14th. Also, though DVDs are released on Tuesdays, I'm going to include a little bit at the bottom for those, too.
Doomsday || IMDb
Clearly a joke on the American public. I will be surprised if it surpasses 15% on RottenTomatoes. If this is your thing, just go see any of the other thousands of movies with this premise.
Rating: Not If They Paid You
Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who || IMDb
Finally, some promise. Even when a Dr. Seuss adaptation goes bad, it's still usually watchable (Grinch -- the Jim Carrey one). The preview looks promising and there's it's certified 'fresh' on RottenTomatoes, so it's worth checking out.
Rating: Dollar Theater
Never Back Down || IMDb
This movie looks really, really bad. The only thing going for it is Jeff Wadlow also directed 'Cry_Wolf,' and though that movie was pretty bad, it's a guilty pleasure of mine. So yeah, nothing to see here, kids.
Rating: Download
Jon's Pick of the Week: Horton Hears a Who
DVD Release of the Week: --just kidding, nothing good comes out this week. Check out 'No Country for Old Men' if you haven't seen it.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
In Theaters March 14
Links of the week
I've been gone but I'm back.
yo yo yo.........
www.overheardinnewyork.com - hilarious (often inappropriate) conversations overheard in New York City, so 2 years ago.
wwww.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com - An outsiders view on the culture of white people. Insightful.
http://www.touristpictures.com/foodfight/index.htm - All the post WW2 wars...as represented by the food of the involved nations.
www.straightcashhomey.net - Unfortunate jersey sightings...awesome.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Top Chef -- A New Season
Now that Project Runway has finished its season, time to switch to something new on Bravo. Time for Top Chef: Chicago!
The trick with shows like this is that for the first few episodes so many people are thrown your way, it's hard to remember who's who, who has talent, or even care about people because they haven't shown real personality.
The quickfire challenge was interesting, mainly because no one knew how to make deep dish pizza. However, at this point, who cares?
The elimination challenge was much better. I like when people have to compete 1-vs-1. Hate when people have to do teams. I have this theory -- with little basis -- that the winner of the first challenge makes it to the finals. It was true for Project Runway (with Rami), so we'll see if it pans out here. With that said, the winner of the first challenge was Stephanie.
Going home: Nimma. Who else saw that one coming? She was being a B, as well as antisocial.
Should be an interesting season.
In related news, I'm going to marry Padma.
Monday, March 10, 2008
More Rail Talk
The blog National Railroad News made a positive mention of increased rails coming to Central Florida. Let's hope so.
Check out this blog for "more railroad news than you can shake a stick at."
Friday, March 7, 2008
What to do About All That Traffic
An article in the Lakeland Ledger yesterday stated that Polk County commissioners have voted to put the CSX terminal and commuter rail placed on hold until it can be further studied.
Of course, it is important to know as much as possible about a project before starting. But improving transit is not something that should be forced to wait in Central Florida. Especially if this further investigation the commissioners are requesting is superfluous.
This blog has previously discussed the transformation of Haines City and the I-4 Corridor into a bedroom suburb of Orange and Osceola. If that is indeed the region's future (and present reality) then rapid transit ought to be of the highest concern for city planners and tri-county area leaders.
In a second article on Thursday, the Ledger reported that Lake Alfred officials are "ecstatic" about a road construction project that will widen 17-92 as it passes through the city. This project is being pushed through quickly following an incident of congestion that occurred when I-4 was closed.
The idea that building more roads will alleviate traffic is a fallacy. To lessen the traffic burden on I-4, Orange, Osceola, and Polk counties need to build rapid public transit, like the proposed commuter rail.
In Miami-Dade County, there is a need for more Metro-Rail lines, but there is a sentiment that it is almost too late. Because development is so dense, it would take massive restructuring of neighborhoods, large amounts of land acquisition, and lots of money.
If Central Florida wants to avoid a similar situation the counties involved need to act quicker than they have been. In the case of Orlando, existing sprawl may already make this an extremely difficult task. This request for further investigation needs to move quickly.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Project Runway Season 4
Last night the season finale of Project Runway came around. I know that Tim Gunn, as well as the judges, have been saying how talented the designers were this season. I agreed, but there were still some bad apples. For the finale it was definitely three of the best designers -- Rami, Christian, and Jillian.
What was interesting about the finale is Christian's lack of confidence. He has normally been the cocky kid that gets on everyone's nerves, and it was nice to see that he is human and can be emotional. Also, it was amusing watching him and Posh Spice exchange compliments.
I'm probably one of the few people sad that Christian won. This makes the second season for me where my favorite got second (the other was when Daniel V lost to Chloe in Season Two). I mean, Christian's clothes were well made, but give me some non-black garments.
Who am I to debate the judges, but I think Rami should've won. There was much more versatility and variety in his designs, yet as Nina Garcia said, you could look at all of them and tell they were Rami's designs. In my opinion Christian won because, A) Victoria Beckham loved his stuff, and B) he is younger and it seems like Project Runway wants to give the fresh face a chance. Rami is already kind of established, so yeah...
Either way though, the real discernible conclusion is that Heidi Klum is a really big dork. Between the reunion episode where edits weren't as abundant, and here when she said Christian was "uber fierce," she has solidified herself as goofy in my book. And I like her more because of it.
Here's to next season.
In Theaters March 7
It's a trend that the movie year goes in a cycle. There's usually a beginning of the year slump, a slew of summer blockbusters, and then 3 months of artsy, awards-bound films. Very rarely do movies win Oscars that came out in the first half of the year. And here we are, the beginning of March.
But that does not mean quality entertainment is impossible -- you'll just have to look a little harder to find it. Each Thursday I'll post a column describing new releases, along with a mostly unbiased description, weighing cast & crew, critical reception, how promising the trailer is, and a bit of personal intuition. It will cover all WIDE releases, and a few LIMITED releases.
The rating system will be: Midnight Showing, Opening Weekend, Dollar Theater, Rental, Download, Not If They Paid You.
Without further ado:
In Theaters March 7, 2008
10,000 B.C. || IMDb
Writer/Director Roland Emmerich seems to be a master of the mediocre disaster. His credits include 'The Day After Tomorrow,' 'The Patriot,' and 'Independence Day.' I doubt it will be much better or worse than any of those movies -- a solid action flick with lots to be desired from a critical standpoint. If you like mindless action, this will be your thing, but for me...
Rating: Download
The Bank Job || IMDb
Jason Statham is close to the top of the one-character-actors list. At least Vin Diesel played a nanny. Despite his lack of range, this could be the right role for him. Bound to be predictable, yet I'm sure it will be entertaining.
Rating: Dollar Theater
College Road Trip || IMDb
Ohhhhhhhhh, man. The only reason I would see this is to count how many stereotypes can be shamelessly thrown around. And that is not enough to get me out of the house. How could the director of 'Just Friends' go wrong, you ask? I just don't know, sometimes you have it and sometimes you don't.
Rating: Not If They Paid You
Jon's Pick of the Week: Rent 'Into the Wild' on DVD. Or, if you must, 'The Bank Job.'
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
The Other Boleyn Girl
Tonight, despite my better judgment, I was at a showing of 'The Other Boleyn Girl.' Writer Peter Morgan had a fantastic year in 2006 ('The Queen' and 'The Last King of Scotland'), so I figured he may be able to overcome the handicap of a lukewarm cast -- including Eric Bana, Natalie Portman, and Scarlett Johansson.
Now, I've taken enough British literature and history classes that I should know the monarchy from top to bottom in my sleep, but alas, it sieves through my memory like the thinest of sand. However, in this case the subject matter is more familiar than most. The story centers around King Henry -- the one who had a reputation for decapitating his wives when they could not give him a male heir. It is no spoiler that in one of the final scenes Anne Boleyn (Natalie Portman) has her head cut off center stage.
This is not a movie review... not completely. What I will say is that the problem with the movie was this: Despite a good cast, as much as I wanted to get into the movie, it constantly felt like a drag through history class instead of a movie experience. It was almost like watching a documentary. And I'm fine with documentaries... when I want to watch a documentary. I understand Peter Morgan's obligation to stick to the ropes of history, but if you're going to change a few details, why not go all-out to make the story better? Go big or go home, I say.
The most interesting part of the movie, by far, was watching Anne Boleyn slither her way into the bed of the king, manipulating everyone around her. Unfortunately that was not enough to carry the movie.
What I really think is interesting... well, here's a quick rundown according to the movie (so don't yell at me if I'm wrong).
Henry was married to his Queen, who could produce no male heir.
He impregnated Mary (Scarlet Johansson) for a male heir, but Anne seduced him and convinced him to make Mary's child a bastard ("Never speak to her again").
Mary denied him and denied him, until Henry went mad -- divorcing his Queen, separating from the Catholic church in Rome, and marrying Anne. He realized his mistake fairly soon, but hoped for a masculine child. Their first child was female (the future Queen Elizabeth, I think).
He gave her a second chance. This time she miscarried. Shortly thereafter he had Anne beheaded.
Here's the twist -- you figure it's a 50/50 chance of a child's gender (right?), so what if Anne's first child had been a boy? Would their marriage have lasted? Would he have dealt with their unhappiness for the sake of the future king? How would he have ruled differently than Elizabeth? Surely it would've been a very different angle. Would they have had more kids (boys, girls, doesn't matter)?
Is it bad that I care more about what could have happened historically if a potential coin toss turned up differently? Maybe, maybe not. But if you're considering seeing this movie, I'd wait for DVD. Watch a much better movie about the monarchy, like, I don't know, 'The Queen.'
Monday, March 3, 2008
Education Breakdown - Miami Edison Senior High School
What happened at Miami Edison Senior High School this past Friday has got me thinking about the futility of our education system.
A friend of mine and I were recently talking. I suggested that teaching, and education in general, was the most important job in the country.
“Teaching is a noble profession,” he said, “fine. But it’s definitely not the most important.”
“But what about the impact you can make in a child's life?” I said.
“Sure, you might really help a few kids, but probably just one a year. Maybe teaching could or should be the most important job," he said, "but it's not."
Now, this is where Edison comes to mind. As one girl in one of the many Youtube videos pointed out, we really do run our schools like prisons. Dropout rates are incredible, and testing scores prove that in poor neighborhoods, many kids are learning close to nothing.
So what difference is our attempt at education really making? What change from previous socio-economic conditions are the majority of the kids at this high school going to see? And what will be their impression of the institution of education—that police will interfere any time a group tries to demonstrate against the powers that be?
The violence that took place at Miami Edison this past Friday should be a giant red flag to this city, and anyone else who is paying attention to problems in their own area. Regardless of who was to blame—the vice principal, the students who threw debris at police officers, or the police officers themselves for their conduct towards minors—the conclusion we should draw is that one of the United State’s largest cities has a population of young people who are angry, discontent, and eager to voice these feelings.
And also, that this country will still send police to shut down demonstrations and use violence, even when it is children demonstrating, and especially when they are black children.
It doesn't seem like just a few children are falling through the cracks. The education system that I know in Florida is built upon a giant, gaping hole in the ground, where life's other problems seem to be dragging it down quickly.
Can our education system really support these kids, and give them a chance for social mobility, for a better future?
Mick Jagger Vs. Hells Angels or Undercover Of The Night or What Happened to Sticktoitiveness?
I recently read this article about a failed assassination attempt on Mick Jagger in 1969, perpetrated by the world famous, tougher 'n hell motorcycle gang, The Hells Angels.
The article gives little insight into the botched murder. In it's tantalizing brevity, it does raise some important questions (and or statements...statements I would like to make, regarding The Hells Angels and/or Mick Jagger).
1. The Hells Angels are not very persistant.
According to the article, after the boat of assassins was scuttled and all of it's murderous crew were thrown overboard, the Angels just gave up. They didn't get back in the boat that night and keep heading towards Jagger's house in the Hamptons. They didn't head back to some grungy bar and plot something heinous for a future date, they just forgot about it. No harm no foul. They apparently letting sleeping dogs lie, ended the feud and went back to running Columbian Coke and knifing hippies.
How do you become a world famous, crazy as hell, tough as nails, insane gang known for being all-round super bad ass when you let a little bit of rough seas ruin your carefully hatched murder plot. I'm not saying that I wish they had killed Mick (although we could all live without another Rolling Stones wrinkly and old World Tour) I just kind of expected more from the Angels, that's all.
2. The Hells Angels don't plan very well.
Did no one check the weather before they got into the boat to head for Mick's mansion in the Hamptons? How bad was the weather that it actually sent everyone overboard. Did they go out in The Perfect Storm or something? I know they didn't have The Weather Channel or www.weather.com but c'mon. No one looked outside and was like...geez, the weather looks awful, let's wait a day. Or maybe...lets take a car.
Seriously, couldn't they have driven to Mick's house. I wonder if they even knew that Long Island was accessible by car (or motorcycle). Did they plan to boat on over to Long Island Marina then travel the remaining distance to Mick's home by foot?
I guess it's possible that none of them even owned cars, just extremely loud motorcycles. And I guess, unlike modern celebrities who are required to have 2 custom choppers a piece, screaming belching hogs might have raised some eyebrows with the West Egg Elites in the late 60s.
3. What Was The Boat Like?
In my mind the boat was a nautical version of a chopper. Way too loud. Ridiculous paint job. Ineffective design and impossible to use controls. All of which would explain the flipping, or submerging or whatever happened that made them call it a night. It probably had some ridiculous outboard motor with way too much horsepower, flames down the sides of it. I don't know how the controls could have come anywhere near being as impossible as those ape hanger handlebars, but something along those lines seems appropriate. They were going too fast up the face of a wave and, whoopsie, non-swimming crazy biker assassins in the drink.
I also imagine alot of wet vests and soggy handlebar moustaches, and them all moping back to have a beer, kill a hooker and give up on ever committing an act that would have approached the later assassination of John Lennon in publicity. We should all be grateful, right? I just keep wondering where the heck were the Hells Angels that I'd heard so much about.
This group of celebrity assassins were pathetic.